Annabelle is a honeymoon baby and was born 3.5 weeks early...and no joke we had someone ask us while she was in NICU (and I hadn't even seen her yet) and in front of my parents and Matt's grandparents "Why didn't you just tell everyone you were pregnant at the wedding?". My hormonal protective momma bear self wanted to whip out a calendar and explain gestation on the spot, but thankful I married someone much more level headed who escorted the guest out of the room. And little did I know this was just the beginning of bold questions I would get asked as a parent.
We refer to Patrick as our miracle baby whenever anyone asks us how close in age our first two kids are, which happens often because most people question if they are twins.
He truly defied all odds (which is totally his personality) and entered our lives in a time of chaos. I remember vividly when I found out I was pregnant with Patch. I had just run a half marathon two weeks prior with friends and had a wonderful wine filled weekend in San Antonio celebrating. Two days before we had celebrated Annabelle's baptism and had family in town celebrating...notice a theme of celebration ;) I had a 5 month old I was over the moon about and was finally starting to feel back to my old self. Matt and I had just moved into a foreclosure we were starting to renovate and our work schedules were crazy. I mentioned to Matt on a trip to the grocery store the day our family left town after the baptism that I was noticing I was not producing as much breast milk for Annabelle. Since her NICU stint I had been a pumping momma, so I knew exactly how much was in supply. I said, really as a joke, "you don't think we could be pregnant?". His instant response, "well, get a test and we'll find out." He was serious and nonchalant...it gave me a feeling he knew something I didn't. I was on birth control, breast feeding and we were very busy tired new parents, I really did not think this was a possibility. So much so, that I took the test the next morning after Matt left for work and when I knew his mom was on her way over to watch Annabelle for the day. I had three big meetings that morning and if I had any clue that I would get the result I did, I would have picked a better time to find out. You already know what the outcome was...after a frantic call to Matt (who was again nonchalant...I swear he already knew!), letting his mom in while trying to keep my composure and rushing back upstairs to schedule an appointment that morning with my OB...I came to find out not only was I expecting again, I was at the end of my first trimester. On the sonogram screen where I expected to see a thumb smudge resembling nothing human like we saw with Annabelle, there was a kicking, arm waving little man. My AMAZING OB comforted me as I spilled out all I had done the past three months that I would have never done if I had any clue I was expecting. A few weeks later we would get our first trimester screening result that he had a 1 in 200 chance of having Down Syndrome, which then led us to further testing that narrowed it down to being a 1 in 3 chance. The remainder of his pregnancy was spent at the doctors office ever 4 days for stress tests and ultrasounds, and on bed rest after 26 weeks. I can not tell you how many prayers were sent up for this little guy. We knew we loved him no matter what and he was obviously meant to be here. It wasn't until he was born that it was ruled out that he did not have Down Syndrome or a heart defect. He is such a beautiful blessing.
While going through his pregnancy which was trying in so many ways, again the questions amazed me. "Did you know how close in age they will be?," "Didn't you just get back from maternity leave?," "Why do you keep getting more testing done if you are going to keep him?" Oh and the list goes on, it is so comical to us now, and really even then.
With the arrival of our newest bundle of joy, we have been even more amazed at questions people will use to inquire about why our baby doesn't look like us. We decided to adopt for many reasons, the easiest explanation for "why now?" is we always wanted three or four kids and after Patrick it was not possible for us to have them the old fashion way. Adoption was something we had talked about while we were dating and both felt was a beautiful way to add to our family and help a child who needed forever parents. It will take a whole other post to describe how Julia became our daughter, but here are two of those amazingly bold questions that have come our way from complete strangers at the park and during her newborn photography session. "Are you babysitting?," "Did your first two come out that dark?." On almost a daily basis we get the "Does she look like Daddy?," "What is her nationality?"...again all from complete strangers...that is what really gets me. Apparently, inquisitive minds want to know. I am a pretty open book and would love to share our story of how Julia entered our lives to anyone who wants to know more about adoption, but these questions when I am in 100% complete Momma mode trying to corral my three blessings catch me off guard every time.
What bold questions have people asked you about your kids or parenting? I would love to hear!
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